♪ ♫ ♪ These are just some of my favorite things ♪ ♫ ♪

(via baturday)

THIS SHIRT IS ABLEIST

kalliopestarmist:

lolbender:

YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO CUT ME OFFFFFFFFF

Presented for Mockturtle8.

THE NOISE I JUST MADE WAS REALLY UNDIGNIFIED

YOU KNOW ME TOO WELL

I’M CRYING, THERE ARE TEARS INVOLVED, TEARS OF GIGGLING

And this is what happened: I went to see The Avengers for the second time.  Finally.  After weeks of trying to organize a trip to the movies, I said screw it, and ran out for the afternoon.

The whole thing was a comedy of errors.

The first thing that happened was that I couldn’t find the movie theater.  The sad part is that I have done this before, with the exact same theater; there’s no sign and it’s on the opposite corner than it should be.  I drove around two different suburban shopping malls before finding the right one.  By which time, I was late for the movie.  But I paid my exorbitant 3D matinee fee ($11.50 wtf!) and went in.  I came in halfway through the first chitauri scene.  Oh well. 

And everything was fine (though honestly, if I see it again I’m not going to see it in 3D) until the giant fight scene at the end.  The aliens were flying around New York, the Avengers were almost about to start smashing stuff, and… the screen went black.  I didn’t remember that.  Hmm.  There was still sound.  I took off my 3D glasses (as if that would help).  How odd.  Someone else in the theater went to talk to the manager.

Turns out the bulb in the projector burned out and they didn’t have another one. 

I GOT LOKI’D IN THE MOVIE THEATER.  DURING THE AVENGERS.  WHAT.

Clearly Someone Up There didn’t want me to see the movie.  I could have stayed for the next showing (all 6 other people in the theater did; they hadn’t seen the movie before.  Poor sods) but I decided to cut my losses and go home.  On the bright side, I got a refund AND a free movie ticket for later.  So that was cool. 

Still though AUUGHHH

(via snh-snh-snh)

fuckyeahpreraphaelites:

Its Sweet Doing Nothing
John William Waterhouse
1879 

GPOY.

Though being unemployed would probably be more fun if I lived in a pseudo-classical painting.

So it’s Aurora Montague’s 16^th birthday party, and everyone is celebrating the fact that the curse didn’t happen.  She’s telling her best friend Benvolio, the owl, that she’s kinda sad that this guy she met once upon a dream isn’t at the party, because she has a massive crush on him.  Benvolio is all “Let me introduce you to this girl, I shall make thee think thy swan a crow,” and Aurora is all prepared to roll her eyes because Benvolio sometimes goes overboard with the bird references but she looks where he’s pointing and lo and behold the girl he’s shown her is literally the fairest in the land.  Oh, she doth teach the torches to burn bright!  So Aurora walks up to her and babbles something about pilgrims and her rough hands and maybe does she want to make out?  And Snow White, who is wiser than her looks and age (13) would suggest, demurs with a high five.  But Aurora has decided that it’s her birthday, dammit, and if the birthday girl wants a birthday kiss and she has to talk Snow into it, by golly that’s what she’s gonna do, and eventually it works and they spend 20 minutes kissing behind a large potted plant before Benvolio comes looking for her because it’s time for cake.  Now, ordinarily none of this would be a problem, but Aurora’s woodland friends have never gotten along with the Capulet dwarf clan who raised Snow White.  Something about mining runoff.  Anyway, for a week after the party, Snow and Aurora see each other in the woods and give a little wave, and Aurora smiles secretly to herself, and Snow tries not to blush.  Finally Aurora can’t stand it any more and she follows Snow home one evening and hides outside her house.  Snow is drawing water out of the well on the balcony and singing something about how someday her princess will come and then she’ll never more be a Capulet.  Aurora can’t stand it any longer and sings up to her, and then they exchange mushy declarations of love until Happy calls that it’s time for her to go to bed.  Now, everything would be fine except that Benvolio foolishly tells the other woodland creatures that he introduced Aurora to the Capulet girl.  They aren’t too happy.  One of the fluffy bunnies decides to give Snow White a poisoned apple so that Aurora won’t betray the family.  Snow White puts the apple in her picnic basket and arranges to meet Aurora for lunch.  Aurora gets sidetracked while singing and dancing in the woods, and so Snow takes a bite of the apple before she shows up.  Right at that very instant she keels over in an enchanted sleep.  Aurora finally shows up and sees Snow White artfully unconscious on the grassy forest floor.  She flips out and shakes Snow, dislodging the bit of apple.  Blinded by tears, she kisses Snow, gropes around in the bushes, finds a spindle (did she really think she was going to escape that curse?) and stabs herself with it.  It’s pretty ineffective as a murder weapon but she does flop over into an enchanted sleep.  Snow White slowly blinks herself awake and sees Aurora artfully arranged on the ground with a spindle sticking out of her chest and a tiny pinprick of blood on her bodice.  She screams, removes the spindle, and sings an aria about how she doesn’t know what is going on but she’s completely in love and why couldn’t they just run away together, did Aurora have to ruin everything by killing herself, and why can’t she remember the last five minutes?  Then she kisses Aurora and prepares to plunge the spindle dramatically into her own chest.  Because when you’re 13 using the same suicide weapon as your date is really romantic.  But just before she can do it Aurora wakes up and is like “What the hell are you doing?” and Snow White screams and then they make out for a while.  And in the end neither of them can really remember what happened, and they decide picnics aren’t really all that romantic, and maybe they should move to the big city.  So they do.  And they get married, and live happily ever after.  And there’s nothing the dwarves or the bunnies can do about it.  THE END

Oh jeez did I just write Disney fic starring Snow White and Aurora, that wasn’t supposed to happen, let’s just blame Shakespeare shall we?

EDIT: I kind of want to rewrite this where the Montagues are the three good fairies.  But this speech just ran so trippingly off my tongue I didn’t think about it too much at first.

clavicularity:

nevermindtheswearjar:

coulsonian:

imyouraziraphale:

heatheralexa:

insidelime:

“Seventy-Five thousand homes were destroyed.”

Perfect.

“Every entry after that was the same way.”

Yes.

“And anyone?” I ask after a moment. 

Oh, okay. 

the chisel, chipping in,
finds names the wind
can’t blow away.

With tear-dimmed eyes, Latona prayed these cruel men might never leave the spot whereon they not stood; and Jupiter, in answer to her prayer, immediately transformed them into huge green frogs, which creature have since then showed a great preference for muddy pools.

(LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL)

“That’s the… bunny. The one you said worked in a club, right?”

“Good Doctor Pinch, you are a conjurer; Establish him in his true sense again, and I will please you what you will demand.”  The Comedy of Errors, IV.iv.

Thank you, William Shakespeare.

Faaaaanndommmm

(via bramblepatch)