At last, what we’ve all been waiting for.
Clint is the majestic Archaeopteryx. I was recently reminded that neither of them can fly, but they both know how to fall with style. And there is that whole thing with the feathers.
Natasha is a Masiakasaurus. The internet assures me that the genus name means “vicious lizard” and that the Masiakasaurus “speared prey with its forward projecting front teeth and then sliced and tore the captives into chewy chunks with its bladelike rears.” And they accomplished all of that solo while being the size of a large dog. The Black Widow approves.
Director Fury is a Dire Wolf. Do not get between this leader and his pack. He will bite you in the face.
Agent Coulson is a small, prehistoric rodent. No, I don’t know what kind. That’s classified. He is innocuous and has the ability to climb trees and foil enemy plots. Also he is cute and fuzzy! Is anyone surprised?
Thor is a Woolly Mammoth. He still thinks that the rest of the team, with the exception of the Hulk, is puny. He is also still convinced that being covered in ice and snow is the natural state of the earth, and that having long flowy hair is a good idea. Way to go, Thor.
Dr. Bruce Banner is a mild-mannered Giant Ground Sloth. The Hulk, on the other hand, is a Giganotosaurus. No, don’t ask me how this works. I don’t know. Bruce doesn’t know either. I would suggest you don’t ask the Giganotosaurus.
Tony Stark is an Ankylosaurus! He’s covered in armor and packs a mean punch. Green smoothies are still his primary source of nourishment, too.
And that brings us to Steve Rogers, our Cave Bear. We all know how fiercely mama bears protect their young, and Steve has a clear “never leave a man behind” policy. There’s a reason he’s our favorite team leader. (Don’t be fooled. The reason is that he’s cuddly).
Edit: Maria Hill is a velociraptor, and Loki is one of those dinosaurs that butt heads, I don’t know which one, I did a ridiculous amount of dinosaur research today, guys.